Even at 3:43
by FanfictMONSTER
Summary: Kurt has been struck by a stroke of utter genius.  And it's safe to say that Spyke is enjoying himself, too...
1. Kurt's genius

**Hello! I would just like to say that I do not own X- men.**

**Yes I do.**

**No.**

**I'm kidding.**

Kurt woke up with a yawn. His covers were all messed up, and half off his bed. He rubbed his eyes to clear away the late night blur. He glanced down at his watch and groaned at the bright red "3:43." He knew that when he woke up, he could never go back to sleep. It was a fact. He waited for his glowing, golden eyes to adjust to the darkness of the large room, which didn't take long, seeing that Kurt was… well, Kurt. He swung his legs around so that his six toes connected with the soft carpet.

On the other side of the room Spyke was snoring loudly, completely upside down and hanging off his bed, half covered with blankets and clutching his stuffed skateboard with googly eyes. Kurt snickered to himself as he watched his buddy. As he looked at his watch again (which betrayed to him that one minute had passed), a flicker of genius flashed through his head.

Yesterday Jean bought at least ten cans of whipped cream for Scott's birthday cake she was in the process of baking. Kurt, the king of pranks, could accomplish something bigger than he'd ever done. Something he'd always wanted to try, but never had the necessities to do. He didn't have access to sprayable whipped cream before, but now he knew exactly where Jean kept hers. He thought about it for one second, and decided that this was an idea. BAMF!


	2. Spyke and failed plans

BAMF! Kurt grinned into the darkness of the kitchen. He was brilliant. Simply brilliant. He looked around the dark room, gaze coming to rest at the chestnut cabinet. Kurt's furry claws clicked as they tapped the tile floor with each step. With his restless tail, he opened the cabinet quietly, or at least it WAS quiet until the rusting hinges squealed sharply, sending a riveting echo through the institute. He flinched and strained his long "elf" ears for any sound that would give away a mutant who decided to investigate what awoke them a little farther. After a few moments of silence (save for Kurt's pounding heart), he opened the door all the way in one quick motion. This time, no sound emanated from it, and he let out a grateful breath.

Kurt grabbed one can of "Whiperific Cream (for all your whipping needs!)". The metal was cool in his three fingered hand as he inspected it. It was kind of small. He transferred the first one into his other hand and grabbed another. And another. One can in his left hand, one in his right, and one held by his tail, he gracefully nudged the door shut. He glanced around the kitchen once more, and BAMF!

XXXXX

Kurt and Spyke's room was small and dark, especially compared to the kitchen, so for a moment, as the smoke cleared, Kurt couldn't see a thing. Due to this unfortunate fact, he took a step backwards before his eyes were really working, and the edge of his bed connected with the back of his knee, causing him to immediately collapse onto the bed with a dramatic thump and squeal. Kurt looked up from his flat position on the bed to Evan, but he was in the same awkward position as last time; upside down and completely twisted up. Kurt relaxed his tail slightly; a critical mistake. The can it had previously been grasping fell to the floor with a loud clang and rolled, before Kurt could stop it, right into his friend's face. In one motion, Evan speared in the general direction of the can with a spike he spontaneously formed, eyes still closed, flipped off of the bed unconsiously, and mumbled loudly, "Take THAT, Pietro." Evan grasped at his blankets, which were still at their rightful place on his bed, half pulled them over his body, and resumed his obnoxious snore. Kurt waited for a few moments and let out a sigh. Evan suddenly moved his legs in a jerking way, kicking his covers harshly and becoming more and more tangled up. He was probably dreaming about fighting Quicksilver, Kurt presumed. He still clutched his little skateboard as if it were his lifeline. Suddenly, a spike formed, growing out of the palm of his hand. He conveniently stabbed down right where the whipped cream can on the floor was lying, and suddenly there was an explosion. Cream spurted out across the room, covering both the mutants and Evan's whole side of the dorm. Kurt sat on the bed, open- mouthed, as Spyke slowly came into consciousness. As Evan muttered nonsense that he didn't even understand himself, Kurt held up the can in his right hand and examined the label.

"Caution. Contents under pressure. Do not incinerate or puncture." He read out loud. He sunk sadly into the bed as Spyke called out suddenly, half asleep, voice loud and piercing so early in the morning, "I DIDN'T YOU HAVE TO EAT THOSE…what?" Kurt picked up a nearby pillow and chucked it across the room at his roommate. A muffled "ow" could be heard from behind the fabric.

"I guess my prank is ruined." Kurt mused sadly from the bed.

Evan yawned.

"What… er, what time is it? What prank?" He still didn't have his senses about him; that was obvious.

Kurt sighed and decided to tell Evan his idea. He wasn't the type of person who would get mad about a harmless little joke.

"I vhas going to spray you vith Jean's vhipped cream," he explained, feeling defeated. He then added, feeling a pulse of annoyance toward Spyke, "but you took care of THAT." He gestured around the room.

"Sorry?" Spyke suggested sleepily.

Kurt lost his anger and resumed the depression.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry; you ARE the victim."

They sat in silence for a moment, each pondering the failed plan, when, sleepiness suddenly evaporating, Spyke's face lit up happily.

"Man, Kurt! I have an idea!"

Anything said in a cheery tone at this point interested the self- proclaimed "fuzzy dude", so he looked up curiously.

"Ja?"

"Why do the pranks have to be limited to just this room? We got the whole institution, man!"

"Hey, ja…" Kurt mused, a new plan already unfurling in his head. "We got a mansion full of what-" he quickly added up the math, "fifteen mutants? God only knows how much chaos ve could cause!"

Kurt tossed the can in his right hand to Spyke, who, like the experienced basketball player he was, caught it skillfully. He held it close to his face and repeated what Kurt had just read. "Do not incinerate or puncture. Haha. Oops."

"Ja, oops." Kurt laughed.

"So, what's the plan?" Spyke asked, asked, wanting to get down to business.

"Ve wreak as much havoc as possible before breakfast." Kurt explained helpfully.

"Sweet." Evan smiled evilly.

"Shall ve?" Kurt questioned his buddy.

"Ve shall." Evan responded, imitating Kurt's accent perfectly.

BAMF!


End file.
